We can still eat that

I have a friend who has prefaced meals with “I think we can still eat that”. The uncertainty she has projected more than once in a meal of leftovers have left me with a healthy fear.  Healthy in that I’ve tried to err on the side of – let’s move to a food selection that you have more confidence in – like something not from the refrigerator vault. I’m not one of these people who won't eat leftovers – I don’t understand that either. But, I won’t eat a leftover if it requires carbon 14 dating to determine if it is still safe. My god, we don’t live in a 3^rd world country we can find fresh food. Sure there is the odd salmonella outbreak – but it shouldn’t be cultivated in your own refrigerator. Leave that stuff to the experts!

You see, I really love food. I’m not missing a meal if I can help it - breakfast being the one exception as I may love sleep more than food. I know there are some people who just eat because they must to live – I feel so sorry for them. It is something they really should seek counseling for. If I cared enough I would search youtube for some Oprah show that I bet covers the topic, but really I just care enough to say I care.

When I eat I want to eat good food.  I’m not just eating to live – I want some love from that food baby! I have to watch my caloric intake – I know that – so if I’m eating something it should be worth the time it is going to take in the gym to burn it off. 

So yeah, I'm a food lover. I like to believe that if I make it to an afterlife it will have some great food, otherwise they aren't going to be happy with me there!

Look what Santa Brought You – Now take the damn tree down!

Christmas Eve, the gorging began. We coasted into Christmas morning still riding the sugar high from the night before and sustaining ourselves from a refrigerator that was packed full of leftovers. We had managed to cook enough food to feed several small countries. We could live for days like this, and we did. Sweet potato casserole makes a wonderful breakfast. It is a vegetable.

After the aforementioned stuffing we began our Christmas present bender that left us breathless. The living room looked like something had thrown- up wrapping paper and presents were laid about as if this was a scene duplicating the path of a tornado. I don’t think we had overdone it with the presents, I just think the crash from the sugar high was taking a heavy toll. You know we aren’t children anymore, we can’t hold our sugar like we used to. In the end we laid spent around the Christmas tree with even Ralph the dog exhausted from the whole affair.

I must admit I was filled with good cheer and 20 lbs of food that I was sure was going straight to my fat ass. I knew work would soon take care of the good cheer so I only needed to concentrate on the 20 lbs of food. I suggested we go on a walk. Ralph, who lives for such ideas, was ready in a flash. It took James and I longer to get ready to brave the 60 degree weather. Yes 60 degrees, it was cold on Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas but Mr. Global Warming had a special Christmas treat just for us.

So, off we went on our Christmas morning/afternoon/pushing evening walk. On our way out of our neighborhood we passed a house with tree already out to the curb. I was surprised to see the tree out so early. I hated to see a tree wasted no matter when it went to the curb, it should have been left to grow. In any event these people weren’t really getting their moneys worth if you asked me. They were still home they were out in their yard even. We had walked by this same house on Christmas Eve and the tree was inside then, so we knew it had just come down. I do realize there is a big built up for Christmas and maybe they wanted to have the whole affair over as soon as possible, but I just can’t imagine what the whole story was. However, I do have some possible scenarios.

• Hey kids, Look what Santa Brought You – Now take the damn tree down!
• Well hell, I didn’t get what I wanted. Now take the damn tree down!
• I’ve had it up to here with you telling me what you want; Santa was fed up to, you aren’t getting anything so take the damn tree down.
• Merry Christmas, now take the damn tree down.
• We only have 8 days until they start picking up discarded trees, we might as well get started now taking the damn tree down.
• Look, it dropped a needle we could all die in a blazing fire from this deathtrap – now take the damn tree down. Hurry!
• The damn red lights are burned out again – take the damn tree down now!
• It is too hot to be Christmas, we will try again later. Go ahead and take the damn tree down.
• I’ve got to get my valentine’s decorations up, go ahead and take the damn tree down.
• I just realized, we are Jewish, take the damn Christmas tree down and someone find a dradle fast!