Monday, May 11, 2009

Death Comes Knocking - crap!

We all know we are going to die someday. Some people are way overdue and some cash out way to early. But death never seems so near as when you are handed the losing hand that you know you can’t fix, you just have to play it out the best you can.

I walk every day, eat a healthy diet, and have no diabetes in my immediate family. I'm not skinny (truth be told, I've been known to pack on a few extra pounds), but I'm certainly not a couch potato or junk food addict. After the age of 40 I figured I should have a checkup, you know kick the tires and check the engine. I never really go to the doctor unless I am sick, really why should I? So, I went for the full checkup only to find that a routine blood test showed that my blood sugar was elevated and I was officially prediabetic.

The phone call from my doctor’s office left me stunned. I had left the office with the doctor declaring he wouldn’t need to see me for a check-up again for two years. Three days later I get a phone call from a nurse telling me I need to come back in for some blood work to confirm I was prediabetic. Confirm I’m what?

Prediabetic, meaning I have higher-than-normal blood sugar levels that put me at risk of developing diabetes, the seventh-leading cause of death in the United States. Yikes!

The fact that I'm not alone doesn't make me feel any better -- 57 million Americans have prediabetes and another 24 million have diabetes. Being part of what's shaping up to be a diabetes epidemic in America isn't a club I want to join. I’ve checked the dues and the whole membership package just kind of sucks – to death.

“Pre” doesn’t really sound that bad on the surface. It sounds like you have options and choice, but you don’t. It turns out that prediabetes isn't really "pre" anything, It's a danger in and of itself that sets off a whole cascade of problems. In fact, there's now evidence that a prediabetic patient's risks for eye, kidney, and nerve damage, as well as heart disease, are nearly as great as a diabetic's.

The good news is that in many cases the progression from prediabetes to type 2 diabetes can be prevented. How? By losing 7 percent or more of your body weight, in addition to exercising and following a low-calorie, low-carbohydrate, high-fiber diet. Research has shown that people with prediabetes who took these steps had a 58 percent success rate in avoiding progressing to type 2 diabetes,

My plan has always been to live to be really old, really active and really alert and just go to sleep one night and never wake up. This new club I’ve been drafted into doesn’t really offer that to its members.

The more I learned about diabetes, the more determined I am to lower my blood sugar levels. My goal is to get my A1C down. At last check it was good; however my fasting blood sugar level was 112. My A1C was 5.2 the normal range is from 4.5 to 5.7. My fasting bood sugar levels were 116 and 112, the normal should be between 70 and 100 - so, kind of a mixed message. This is what I think it all means. It means I’m at the very early stages of being prediabetic. I hope early enough that I can get kicked out of this damn club.

I’m working hard to have that membership revoked. I live at the gym. If I have free-time I’m there. I am normally there at least 4 times a week, sometimes more, but never less. Do I like it? No!

I now take medication called metformin. I take it every day. What does it do? Well, we aren’t really sure. That is a comfort. But it is believed that it tricks my liver into making more insulin for me. Does it have side-effects? Oh yeah! Do I like it? No! I can’t wait to get to a point I can stop taking it.

I now religiously read labels at the supermarket, refusing to buy anything with sugar listed in the first half of the ingredients. There are foods I miss, but foods I can learn to live without. I count carbs and sugars everyday. Eating has been more of a chore. Maybe that is a good thing, I don’t know. I used to joke that in my dreams heaven was an endless Italian meal. Well, that is more of a dream than ever as weekly pasta dishes are now just a memory.

I've been sobered by what I've learned. I know now that staying healthy is a process, one I'll have to fine-tune for the rest of my life. Do I like learning that lesson? No!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Even Pretty Women are funny when Drunk

Julia Roberts drank a wee bit too much Jesus juice at the Film Society of Lincoln Center event honoring Tom Hanks the other night, so much that when it was time for her to get on stage and Honor Hanks the pretty lady had morphed into Lola the Time Square filthy mouth sailor. The results: Priceless!

"Alright well, it's late and I'm paying my babysitter overtime and I have to pee," she began. "So Tom, everybody fuckingg likes you. All my bits are gone. Listen, I had lunch today with Rita [Wilson, Hanks' wife], and her titss were here [motioned high] and her waist was here [motioned small] and her ass was like that [motioned high], so what can I tell you that's new? Tom Hanks, what the fuck?"

Audience members busted up with laughter. She then went on to say she's seen most of Hanks' films except That Thing (You Do).

"I love the Cohen brothers, but the hair Tom , I didn't even know what the fuck that movie was about!" Of 2004's The Terminal, she cracked, "You in the airport with the accent? It was a pass for me. Airport? Were you just an immigrant lost? I didn't know. I love you, and I didn't know what to do, really. God, I’m wearing the same fucking dress tonight as your publicist!"

"Listen, I've got to get home. But this much we know ... I will say this: Tom Hanks, I love you."

Roberts then lost her train of thought. "It's so dark out there, I feel like I’m in space," she said as an audience member held up their cell phone. "Thank you, whoever just made it light. J.J. Abrams, are you here?"

Before exiting the stage, she reiterated to Hanks how much she loved him. (source)