Monday, May 11, 2009

Death Comes Knocking - crap!

We all know we are going to die someday. Some people are way overdue and some cash out way to early. But death never seems so near as when you are handed the losing hand that you know you can’t fix, you just have to play it out the best you can.

I walk every day, eat a healthy diet, and have no diabetes in my immediate family. I'm not skinny (truth be told, I've been known to pack on a few extra pounds), but I'm certainly not a couch potato or junk food addict. After the age of 40 I figured I should have a checkup, you know kick the tires and check the engine. I never really go to the doctor unless I am sick, really why should I? So, I went for the full checkup only to find that a routine blood test showed that my blood sugar was elevated and I was officially prediabetic.

The phone call from my doctor’s office left me stunned. I had left the office with the doctor declaring he wouldn’t need to see me for a check-up again for two years. Three days later I get a phone call from a nurse telling me I need to come back in for some blood work to confirm I was prediabetic. Confirm I’m what?

Prediabetic, meaning I have higher-than-normal blood sugar levels that put me at risk of developing diabetes, the seventh-leading cause of death in the United States. Yikes!

The fact that I'm not alone doesn't make me feel any better -- 57 million Americans have prediabetes and another 24 million have diabetes. Being part of what's shaping up to be a diabetes epidemic in America isn't a club I want to join. I’ve checked the dues and the whole membership package just kind of sucks – to death.

“Pre” doesn’t really sound that bad on the surface. It sounds like you have options and choice, but you don’t. It turns out that prediabetes isn't really "pre" anything, It's a danger in and of itself that sets off a whole cascade of problems. In fact, there's now evidence that a prediabetic patient's risks for eye, kidney, and nerve damage, as well as heart disease, are nearly as great as a diabetic's.

The good news is that in many cases the progression from prediabetes to type 2 diabetes can be prevented. How? By losing 7 percent or more of your body weight, in addition to exercising and following a low-calorie, low-carbohydrate, high-fiber diet. Research has shown that people with prediabetes who took these steps had a 58 percent success rate in avoiding progressing to type 2 diabetes,

My plan has always been to live to be really old, really active and really alert and just go to sleep one night and never wake up. This new club I’ve been drafted into doesn’t really offer that to its members.

The more I learned about diabetes, the more determined I am to lower my blood sugar levels. My goal is to get my A1C down. At last check it was good; however my fasting blood sugar level was 112. My A1C was 5.2 the normal range is from 4.5 to 5.7. My fasting bood sugar levels were 116 and 112, the normal should be between 70 and 100 - so, kind of a mixed message. This is what I think it all means. It means I’m at the very early stages of being prediabetic. I hope early enough that I can get kicked out of this damn club.

I’m working hard to have that membership revoked. I live at the gym. If I have free-time I’m there. I am normally there at least 4 times a week, sometimes more, but never less. Do I like it? No!

I now take medication called metformin. I take it every day. What does it do? Well, we aren’t really sure. That is a comfort. But it is believed that it tricks my liver into making more insulin for me. Does it have side-effects? Oh yeah! Do I like it? No! I can’t wait to get to a point I can stop taking it.

I now religiously read labels at the supermarket, refusing to buy anything with sugar listed in the first half of the ingredients. There are foods I miss, but foods I can learn to live without. I count carbs and sugars everyday. Eating has been more of a chore. Maybe that is a good thing, I don’t know. I used to joke that in my dreams heaven was an endless Italian meal. Well, that is more of a dream than ever as weekly pasta dishes are now just a memory.

I've been sobered by what I've learned. I know now that staying healthy is a process, one I'll have to fine-tune for the rest of my life. Do I like learning that lesson? No!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Even Pretty Women are funny when Drunk

Julia Roberts drank a wee bit too much Jesus juice at the Film Society of Lincoln Center event honoring Tom Hanks the other night, so much that when it was time for her to get on stage and Honor Hanks the pretty lady had morphed into Lola the Time Square filthy mouth sailor. The results: Priceless!

"Alright well, it's late and I'm paying my babysitter overtime and I have to pee," she began. "So Tom, everybody fuckingg likes you. All my bits are gone. Listen, I had lunch today with Rita [Wilson, Hanks' wife], and her titss were here [motioned high] and her waist was here [motioned small] and her ass was like that [motioned high], so what can I tell you that's new? Tom Hanks, what the fuck?"

Audience members busted up with laughter. She then went on to say she's seen most of Hanks' films except That Thing (You Do).

"I love the Cohen brothers, but the hair Tom , I didn't even know what the fuck that movie was about!" Of 2004's The Terminal, she cracked, "You in the airport with the accent? It was a pass for me. Airport? Were you just an immigrant lost? I didn't know. I love you, and I didn't know what to do, really. God, I’m wearing the same fucking dress tonight as your publicist!"

"Listen, I've got to get home. But this much we know ... I will say this: Tom Hanks, I love you."

Roberts then lost her train of thought. "It's so dark out there, I feel like I’m in space," she said as an audience member held up their cell phone. "Thank you, whoever just made it light. J.J. Abrams, are you here?"

Before exiting the stage, she reiterated to Hanks how much she loved him. (source)

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Rules for Going to the Movie Theater



GENERAL GUIDELINES FOR NON-DISRUPTIVE BEHAVIOR

(1) TALKING

(a) Conversations are permitted up until the start of the first trailer. You may talk through the lame animations telling you where the exits are, etc. You may even talk through the commercials, which are becoming increasingly common in movie theaters and generally deserve to be talked through. Once the first trailer begins, however, your mouth should close, and should not open again except to laugh at appropriate comedic moments in the film, or in the case of extreme emergencies, such as being on fire, or your intestines being exposed and visible.

(b) The less intelligent among you never seem to understand the plot of any given movie. We overhear you quite often, asking your companion what just happened, or guessing what's going to happen, or generally commenting on the movie in a witless fashion. Unless you are being paid to revise MST3K this is unacceptable. Simply try watching the movie and see if your answers aren’t revealed. If not, go home an reflect on them and maybe if you really should be away from the home.

(c) Carrying on a conversation throughout a movie, in a normal speaking voice, as if you were sitting in your living room and not among dozens of other people who paid to hear the movie and not your conversation, will not be tolerated. Raising your voice to be heard above the noisier scenes in a movie is an even more serious sin. Other audience members do have the right to beat the crap out of you if that is what it takes to make you shut up.

(d) You will refrain from striking up a conversation with that strangers while waiting for the movie to start. Movies aren't social events. You will especially refrain if this appears to be some mating ritual as it will cause undo stress. "Is he gonna try picking me up? Or sitting next to me? God, can't I even go to a fucking movie by myself without some asshole invading my space?" And so on.

(2) OTHER DISRUPTIONS

(a) If you are in love with another person, good for you, mazel tov, whatever. Just keep it to yourself. The darkness of a movie theater does not give you license to smooch, coo, exchange sweet words, fondle each other, or worse. If you feel you must engage in such nauseating behavior, get a room. Don't try to impress us all with how deeply you two are in love, because frankly, Sparky, we don't give a fuck.

(b) Despite the MPAA loophole, children under the age of, say, 12 have no business attending an R-rated movie even when accompanied by a parent or adult guardian. They will not understand or appreciate the movie and may even pick up a few unsavory words, or wake you up in the middle of the night with nightmares for weeks to come. (Rough justice meted out to stupid parents.)

(c) In any public place, not just at the movies, it is unseemly for children to emit the sort of piercing shriek known to unclog sinuses and restore sight to the blind. Unless the child is on fire, or his/her intestines are exposed and visible, a child really has no reason to produce such a sound, and should be strenuously discouraged from doing so, especially in the presence of adults who have had a hard day at work and just want a nice, peaceful night out at the movies or at a restaurant.

(d) Babies do not belong in a movie theater. They belong at home with a babysitter or trusted family member. If you cannot find a sitter or trusted family member, then you will stay home with the baby. Which part of this is difficult to understand?

(e) You will not wait until you are in line before deciding what movie to see. Neither will you debate which movie to see when it is your turn at the ticket counter, thus holding up everyone else behind you. You will have your game plan together by the time you leave the house.

(f) You will not further hold up everyone behind you by arguing with the ticket seller when he or she refuses to sell you a ticket for an R-rated movie without checking your photo ID. Nor will you bring a note from your mother and beseech the ticket seller to "call my mom, she says it's okay, she's home, just call her." If you are 17 or over, bring photo ID. If you are under 17 -- if you are even an unusually mature 16-and-a-half-year-old -- you are no longer considered old enough to see R-rated movies by yourself. Deal with it, and welcome to post-Columbine America.

(g) If there are five or more of you, and you arrive late and the theater is packed, you will not expect people who are already seated to split up or move so that you can all sit together. Arrive early, or expect to sit apart.

(h) The backs of the seats in front of you are not your personal footrests, particularly when people are occupying those seats. Be advised also that when you nudge, kick, or jiggle the seat in front of you, it annoys everyone sitting in that row even if that particular seat is empty.

HEARING PROBLEMS

(a) You should not be talking at all during the movie (see the General Guidelines for Non-Disruptive Behavior), but you especially should not be talking in the loud monotone commonly associated with elderly people who have experienced a decrease in hearing ability.

(b) You should not be repeating every word of dialogue for the benefit of your hard-of-hearing companion. The people around you heard the dialogue just fine, and do not require the instant replay. Get a hearing aid.

SIGHT PROBLEMS

(a) If you must read credits or subtitles aloud for the benefit of a less-than-sharp-eyed friend or spouse, do so quietly, so as not to disturb those around you who can actually see letters that are roughly two feet tall.

THROAT PROBLEMS

(a) If you are experiencing a mild illness of the throat-clearing or coughing variety stay home. Sudden, raucous coughs or "hrrr-HMMMMMM"s are extremely challenging to your fellow moviegoers' ability to focus on a complex narrative.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Rules of Facebook - aka electric friendship generator

And now boys and girls we have a short educational movie. Please sit back. Eyes open, mouth shut. If you are sitting comfortably we will now begin.



Sunday, April 19, 2009

More Susan Boyle News

The Daily is reporting on a previous recording of my new inspiration Scotland’s singing sensation Susan Boyle. After hearing it, I love her even more!

This recording was made back in 1999. She recorded the blues ballad Cry Me A River for a charity CD. Only 1000 copies of the disc were ever produced. It was called the

The Millennium Celebration disc. The disc was the brainchild of local newspaper editor Eddie Anderson.

As part of the process for the Millennium CD Eddie launched a search for unsigned acts to take part and as soon as he heard Susan at the auditions he knew he had found something special.

“I was amazed when she sang,” Eddie said. “It was probably the same reaction as everyone had last Saturday.

“Susan was exactly the same then as she is now. She has a fabulous and unique talent.”

I truly believe this woman has only just begun shocking the world. Wait till you hear her soulful rendition of the classic ballad. Amazing.



Wednesday, April 15, 2009

MEET SUSAN BOYLE

Meet 48-year old Susan Boyle. She had always dreamed of becoming a professional singer. But at 48, what really was she thinking? When she walked out on the stage of the TV show Britain’s Got Talent, no one expected her to do well.

In a preshow interview Miss Boyle told presenters Ant and Dec that she lived alone with just her cat Pebbles for company. She said: ‘I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never even been kissed.’ When her time arrived she stomped across the stage and began clumsily gyrating her hips towards the judges, prompting laughter from the audience and disgust from the judges. Everyone couldn't wait for Susan to fail and get off the stage. What was this old, fat woman thinking?


She was thinking that she knew what she was doing. I'll be honest a couple acid tears worked their way up my rusty tear ducts while watching this clip. You have to watch the whole clip. ....Enjoy

If the player above is not working click here to see the clip.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Walmart of Gastonia has it all

You know, I really don't need to add anything to this story.

April 8, 2009 - Gastonia
A man and woman accusing of having sex in a Wal-Mart parking lot face a charge of crime against nature Wednesday.

According to arrest warrants and an affidavit, police stopped William Walter Stephens, 83, of 5601 Union Road, Gastonia, and Asia Marie Howard, 25, of 1032 West Airline Ave., Gastonia, as they were leaving the Wal-Mart on Myrtle School Road after receiving a report that the two were having sex in the brown Buick they were leaving in. According to the affidavit, Howard told police that they were having sex and Stephens gave her $20 for oral sex.

Stephens was released from Gaston County Jail Wednesday under a $1,000 unsecured bond. Howard was placed in Gaston County Jail Wednesday under a $2,500 secured bond.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

No One Knew Jesus Would Come Back As a Cookie

Easter will soon be upon us, and what better way to remember the events of 2000 years ago than with this Crucifixion Cookie Cutter, fresh from German cookware supplier Tadenberg?

Actually, there are probably many much more tasteful things to eat at this solemn celebration, but at least this stainless steel cruciform has a little more authenticity than the pagan eggs and bunnies we usually eat, both of which symbolize the fertility of Spring.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Back from Asheville



Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Handicaped Tree

This is why we have the Internet, well this and porn.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

More Ralph Wisdom


Saturday, March 7, 2009

God Warrior


Yes, I know you have most likely seen this, but doesn't it just take you back all over again. I love the "I'm glad you are home..." that poor guy. Have you ever seen a better poster child for mediation?

Friday, March 6, 2009

Thursday, March 5, 2009

The Copal Grill Closed


The Copal Grill on Wilkinson Boulevard, another iconic Charlotte diner, has closed.

The N.C. Department of Transportation owns the property and plans to demolish the building, said Richard Hancock of DOT.

“There are a lot of emotions there,” says John Balatsias, who ran it with his brother, Terry, and family members. “We decided we should put our efforts and our money elsewhere.”

The 110-seat restaurant opened in 1947 and has had three owners. Kleomenis Balatsias, John's father, bought it in 1965 with business partner Spero Kalevas.

Kleomenis Balatsias retired a few years ago and sold it to NCDOT, which plans a new airport entrance at the site.

Since then, the restaurant has stayed open under a month-to-month lease.

The brothers closed the restaurant temporarily this summer when their father's health failed. Kleomenis Balatsias died July 27.

Meeting building codes to reopen would have been expensive, and the investment didn't seem wise with the entrance road planned.

The Balatsiases hope to start again elsewhere, and bring along the neon sign.

Yet the meat-and-three diner – offering daily specials that come with three accompaniments, such as two sides and bread – is a fading cultural symbol in urban centers. I practically lived at the Copal during college. I had a lot of good times at this place and it will be missed. My only remaining concern is what happened to the woman they kept chained up in the basement that put the applesauce in those little tiny cups? I hope they get her out before the building comes down.

(Before Amy asks, yes that is one of my pictures from Copal Grill - it was from when my friend Sheila had her Birthday party there)

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Nana's Pound Cake


This is one of the first things I learned to make from scratch. Nothing made me more proud than when Nana said it was as good as hers.

  • 3 sticks of butter
  • 3 cups of sugar (sifted)
  • 5 eggs
  • 3 cups of plain flour (sifted)
  • 1 Cup of Milk
  • 1 teaspoon of Lemon extract
  • 1 teaspoon of vanilla
  • 1 teaspoon of baking powder
  • Cream together butter and sugar 

  1. Add eggs one at a time to mixture while mixing.
  2. Continue to mix adding flour and milk and alternating flour with milk.
  3. Add flavoring and lastly add baking powder
  4. Bake at 325 for 1 hour and 15 minutes, or until done.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Sugar, Spice and Everything Nice

Oh little girls, they grow up so fast don't they? One minute they're playing with Barbies and stuffed animals, and the next they're leaving video messages on Myspace for the whole world to see. What really impresses me its her eloquence and manners. Brings a tear to my eye.

Her parents must be so proud, mark my words, this girl is going places.

Treat yourself to some sugar and spice and everything nice. Enjoy!


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Medication Could be the Answer

At last there is help. I hope all those that need it will overcome there shame and seek the help that is needed. I only wish this was available over the counter so I could give it as gifts. Yes, it just means that much to me.



Please, please share this with all of your friends, family and love ones. :-)

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Star Wars Sucks

I have some painful words to admit, and I fully blame Calvin for making me say this. So here it goes. Start Wars isn’t really that good.

That’s right. You read correctly. The Star Wars prequels suck. Calvin has fallen in love with Star Wars. I should be happy. But he doesn’t like the Star Wars I grew up on, he likes the new prequels that really suck.  All afternoon I’ve been forced to endure these horrible movies. I’ve had to act like I was paying attention so I could respond to his countless questions. If for no other reason I had to be awake to read the subtitled parts to him.

So many people have decried, insulted, attacked and derided the films – and they have been correct.

  • “The acting is no good.”
  • “The scripts were terrible.”
  • “Jar Jar Binks is annoying.”
  • “I don’t like the CGI.”

It isn’t like the old Star Wars were works of art but they had the good sense to be short. This hid most of the bad acting and plot holes. These new movies never end. It is as if they said “if they can’t be good – make them long!”

I will admit, on some level I’m jealous. I wish I could love these new movies like Calvin does. I want my youth back.  I didn’t see Calvin moaning and wailing about the quality of dialogue. He just enjoyed the movie. Just like I did as a youngster. I ignored the flaws in the original Star Wars films because I enjoyed them.  George Lucas was never the world’s greatest wordsmith, and never claimed to be. Episodes 4, 5, and 6 don’t exactly read like Shakespearian sonnets. 

I won’t sour this for Calvin. He deserves to get to enjoy Star Wars. I know someday he will grow up and will learn the cruel realities of this world that – Star Wars really isn’t that good. Until then, let him enjoy those crappie movies!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Bulletproof Hair

A Kansas City woman with a tight weave gets shot at by her boyfriend through a car window. Later, the cops find a spent bullet in her hair. Did the hair stop it?

Apparently some weaves are tighter than others.  After 20-year-old Briana Bonds told her boyfriend Juan she didn't love him anymore, he responded by shooting out the back of her of her mid-'90s Pontiac. I should mention she was still in the car at the time.  The rear windshield was shattered, but she was still alive and without major injury, possibly thanks to that weave.

My name is Bonds, Briana Bonds - I like my weave shaken - not stirred!

The ladies down at the beauty parlor are not totally convinced. Scientifically speaking, the weft (where the weave meets the hair) is where the fibers are interlocked most tightly. But whether or not that makes it any where close to the equivalent of a Kevlar mesh is beyond current beauty-parlor technology to ascertain.

Hair stylist Kim Walton told Kansas City NBC affiliate KSHB, "I never heard of weaves saving anybody's life." Still, if it turned out to be what saved Bonds, she added, "Thank God for weave."

Bonds herself told the news channel that it was more about God than the weave: "I think God was in my passenger seat." As of Thursday, Bonds had a headache; no word on what happened to Juan. 

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

g2g pigs trying 2 take mi cell

In an incident that wasn't at all excessive (nope), a 14-year-old girl in Wisconsin was arrested for refusing to stop sending text messages during class, where she proceeded to hide the phone in her ASS CRACK. Must her parents just be beaming with pride. However would she think to hide the phone there? And how small of a phone must it have been?

According to the Smoking Gun, the unnamed girl apparently ignored the teacher's requests to stop using her Samsung phone, but she kept on texting as she pleased. Manners - they are lost in this generation.  When the school security officer was called in, the girl claimed she didn't have a phone. The school finally called in the police. Oh can't you just hear that phone call. When police searched the girl they found the phone under her pants "in the buttocks area." The police confiscated her phone and charged her with disorderly conduct. 

These are our tax dollars at work! I just hope when she got home that her special phone hiding place was given the full seat warming treatment.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Sleepy Time – The Final Revenge

You would think such a place as Sleepy Time would only cross my path once in my life, two times is pretty unlikely and three times – you have to think there is someone out there who really didn’t like me as a kid.

Some years later the Sleepy Time house had been abandoned. Maybe it was shut down for child abuse violations, maybe the poltergeist that inhabited the space ran everyone off, I’m not sure of the exact reason for the closer of Sleepy Time.

I grew up in the 70’s and part of the charm of the 70’s was churches started to take over your ever waking moment. Why not have ever event in your life structured around the church – who needs anything else? For parts of my childhood I was Methodist, at least in the non-summer months. Methodist as a rule are quiet people, they don’t get excited, they make sure you are out of service at noon every Sunday and generally try to handle most disputes with a casserole and some prayer already pre-written. Creativity isn’t something instilled by the Methodist experience – repetition is. It is good and safe and would rarely offend anyone, so keep that in mind if you are our shopping for a new religion.

In my early teenage years I was involved with our church’s youth group. I can remember going to camp, and a few outings but what sticks out most was the final revenge of Sleepy Time.

One thing I looked forward to when I joined the youth group was working on the haunted house. The goal was to raise money and to scare the crap out of everyone. This was back when churches allowed you to dress up as the devil for Halloween and didn’t see it as anymore crazy as great floods and giants walking the earth. I remembered some great haunted houses at church and each year they tried to top the year before.

One day while meeting our youth director informed us that had great news – we had secured a prime location on one of the major roads in town for our haunted house. The house was old and abandoned and scheduled for demolition – so we could do anything we wanted to it. Great plans began on torture chambers, coffins, and zombies.

Our youth director arranged for us to go see the location. I was asked to come even though I was new to the youth group because they needed someone who could think creatively. My only partial submersion into the Methodist life was paying off. So, off we went. As soon as we pulled in the driveway I knew where we were. It was the old Sleepy Time house. Everyone was so excited; I just wanted to throw-up. I’ve never had much of a poker face  and apparently my face betrayed my emotions the minute we walked into the empty house. I started getting ribbing about being scared and being to young. I just shook my head. I made up my mind then and there this project was going on without me; I wouldn’t come back to the youth group until after Halloween. They could have the Sleepy Time house all to themselves – and so they did. They scared the crap out of countless people for one last time as the Sleepy Time house did what just came naturally.

In the spring I rode my bike up to the Sleepy Time house to watch them tear it down. This was way beyond where I was allowed to go on my bike, but I wanted to make sure the place was gone. It is now home to the boy scout’s office – how fitting.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Verizon Math

I feel this man's pain. I have a theory that at some point I was abducted by aliens who took me away and taught me a language that sounds just like English but apparently has a different meaning for some key words. That is the only way I can logically explain the situations like this where I explain something out in excruciating detail in simple terms and I still can't be understood. Curse you ET!!!!


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

911 for Lemonade

BOYNTON BEACH, Fla. –Authorities said a man, 66, was arrested after calling 911 on Saturday to complain that a fast food restaurant ran out of lemonade. After a drive-through employee failed to respond to the man's threat of contacting the police, the irate diner called 911, a police report alleges.

He spent about 5 minutes talking to the 911 operator about his complaint.

Boynton Beach said the man was charged with abuse of 911 communication.


Someone get grandpa his lemonade! I mean really, how good could that lemonade be?

Friday, February 6, 2009

Hyperactive

Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Return of Sleepytime Daycare

My brother and I never had to return to the “Sleepytime” daycare, but that didn’t stop “Sleepytime” from tormenting me again as a child. It so happens the daycare that I would spend my early formative years in was “The Gingerbread House” which was located directly behind “Sleepytime”. What are the chances? Maybe Mom didn’t really look that hard for a replacement – well look – there is another one of these places – let’s try that one! I’m not sure how the selection process was done.

“The Gingerbread House” (TGH) was also a converted house, but it was only a single floor – which I considered a major safely improvement over the sleepytime deathtrap where they put children into the fireplace.

The fenced in backyard of TGH shared a common fence with Sleepytime at the very back. The play area at TGH was divided up with mostly the boys playing as far away from the TGH as possible. I believe it was hoped that we would be beyond the careful glaze of our teachers and from this great distance we could get away with just about anything.

One day a not so bright schoolmate got the idea that he should jump the back fence of TGH into the next yard. I knew what fait awaked this kid – the sleepytime - but I felt no desire to warn this kid. I would call this kid by name, but to be honest it escapes me and really he isn’t the point of this story. If this kid wad dumb enough to break into “Sleepytime” he deserved the fireplace torture that awaited him. His first attempt was a spectacular attempt to jump the fence with a big-wheel. It was a monumental failure, but still a vision I can conjure up for a laugh. The big-wheel, while large in wheel never was much of a jumping vehicle as it would be proved time and again for many years to come. Somehow just like Evil Knievel he survived the big-wheel feat. Even with this failure still fresh on him he was able to convince other stupid children that their next attempt should be to dig a hole under the fence. I’m sure this kid grew up to a salesman at Circuit City or something like that. At this point, I began to retreat. My hasty retreat was noted and someone was sent to find me hiding in the playhouse to see what was up and was I going to tell. I assured them I wasn’t going to tell, but I wasn’t going to help them dig a hole back into the sleepytime daycare jail yard. They just didn’t understand. How could they?

Monday, February 2, 2009

Someone wants that hat!



The Smithsonian Museum wants Aretha Franklin’s Inauguration Day hat. It really is true!



The Queen of Soul’s big-bowed headgear has become a hot property since the legendary singer wore it to belt out “America the Beautiful” at President Barack Obama’s Jan. 20 inauguration. And boy did she "belt it out".



The Los Angeles Times reports that the hat’s designer, Luke Song, has been overwhelmed with demand for the $179 item. So, you too can order one. I understand it draws attention away from everything!




Sunday, February 1, 2009

Goodbye Red, I have a new Love

They haven’t known me for sometime at the local video store. I like that. I didn’t much like the local video store, they didn’t have what I wanted and they charged late fees. They didn’t really much seem to care and I didn’t really much feel the need to care about them either! For years now I’ve been able to drive by the video store and shake my head at the poor bastards that still have to shuffle in and out arranging their lives around the video store. How did I escape their clutches? Netflix. Netflix with their ubiquitous red envelopes give me a whole new reason to come home and check the mail. Netflix carries everything I want. I’m sure by now you’ve heard about Netflix so I don’t have to go on about them, but my days of the red envelopes may also be ending in the future.

The Netflix Player by Roku totally cuts out the middle man, good bye red envelopes. Hello – my new love – Roku.

How does it work? You buy the box for $99 and connect it to your TV. You use your Netflix account as you always do but now you setup movies and shows to watch in your instant queue. From your Roku player you play the shows from your instant queue. You can watch items in HD, pause, rewind and go forward. If you stop a video, and then what to go back it remember where you left off.

Right now you have limited selection of what you can watch instantly. Watching instantly doesn’t count against your DVD quota and depending on your plan will mostly likely be included in your plan cost. I’ve started watching items I’ve really enjoyed but I wouldn’t have used DVD slots in my plan to watch. As always you can also watch instantly from your PC without any additional items needed.

This is one of the most elegant and surprisingly usable dedicated devices I’ve seen in a long time. Everything here is almost perfect and Roku continues to add new capabilities to the box. They plan on expanding services beyond Netflix this year. As the literal incarnation of a web service, the Netflix Player by Roku is a true gem.

Now for the really geeky part:

Video and Audio Connections

• HDMI

• Component Video

• S-Video

• Composite Video

• Digital Optical Audio

• Analog Stereo Audio

Network Connections

• Wired Ethernet

• Wi-Fi (802.11 b/g)

Friday, January 30, 2009

Stains

Do you ever see something that is funny to you no matter how many times you watch it? Well, that is how it is for me with this clip from "The Soup" that shows the crazy-eyed dog known as Stains. I don't want to give to much away, just watch for yourself.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Sleepy Time Daycare

“You don’t like that.” As a small child these were the guiding words I often heard from my brother, and for me no other judgment was needed. Maybe I was a lazy child and I didn’t want to take time to form options myself. He was older, he had already figured these things out why shouldn’t I benefit from his knowledge. There was no need for me to try anything. Whatever likes and disliked he had - I now had the same. My brother felt it was his duty to protect me from olives, most vegetables and anything that didn’t involve sports. He was older and wiser and was determined to pass this knowledge on to me. I didn’t really have a choice. Later in life I would fail him as I went on to discover that I liked most vegetables and detested most sports, but he was right about olives. However, at this time I was still his disciple in all things.
Our parents both taught school in the next county. This meant their day started early. During the school year my brother and I were both entrusted into the care of Odessa. While I wouldn’t always believe the sun rose and set on my older brother, my faith for Odessa never wavered. However, on this faithful morning Odessa was unable to come in. Mom hurriedly made arrangements to take us to a daycare with the quant name of Sleepy Time. Sleepy Time was an old converted house off a major thoroughfare. Out front was a black backed neon sign half faded with a child sleeping and little “z”s coming from his head. It suggested that your child would sleep in some kind of eternal darkness. Why a parent would trust a place that looked like it was conceived by Norman Bates I will never know. Mom was desperate, but the other children there – their parents owe them an explanation.
As Mom left us half asleep we watched her drive away not knowing what to do next or if she would ever return. As we took in our surroundings Steven whispered in my ear that we didn’t like this place. I think without his help I would have formed the same conclusion. We stood in the entrance hall where Mom had left us with our coats still on holding hands. We dumbly followed the orders of a stranger woman as she told us to hang up our jackets. Then, however she started taking Steven upstairs and another woman appeared and was taking me in the direction of another room. Steven escaped from the stranger woman and grabbed my hand and told me not to move. The teacher reached down and started to pick me up. I did the only thing a 3 year old can do. I cried. I cried as if the world was ending. She was so taken back that she just froze. I would think she would be used to crying children, but I did have a good set of lungs on me. My brother then started running pulling me in tow. We ran straight into the fireplace of what used to be the den in the house and wedged ourselves inside. I continued to cry. Anytime someone got near us, I would cry. So, there we stood in the fireplace all day. Neither of us would come out, not to eat, play. No amount of coaxing or threats would get us to move. They decided ignoring us would work, as we would get bored and come out to play. Steven and I didn’t move an inch.
I feel so sorry now for the sight my Mom must have seen when she came to pick us up that afternoon. Here her two sons stood in the fireplace, me still balling my eyes out until I heard her voice. Then we ran to her covered in soot. My memories of what happened next aren’t really clear, but I know we never returned to Sleepy Time. I’m sure there was mutual agreement on that. When my brother and I both started kindergarten the next year, they put us in separate facilities, but that is another story.

However, that wasn't my last encounter with the Sleepy Time daycare......

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Commuters at Liverpool Street Station in London were in for a pleasant surprise at 11 am on January 15, 2009



Be sure and switch the video to HD to really see the detail, it is worth it!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Innovative Computer Solutions

While still in college I started Innovative Computer Solution. It was more work than I care to remember, but I did learn alot. Here is a pic of me in our first real office in Belmont. NC. I don't even want to calculate how young I was then!

I'm in the process of closing ICS down now. It is bitter sweet.


Thursday, January 22, 2009

Bob's only pg-13 Joke!

A dear old friend of mine just loved this joke.

A 70-year-old man and his young wife of 50 had decided with the miracles of modern medicine they wanted to have a baby. There doctor being skeptical suggested that they start the process by finding out if the man was still fertile. The doctor gave the man a specimen jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."


The next day the 70-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arlene , the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing.

The doctor was shocked "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep. None of us could get the jar open!"

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Wrong Trousers

On the rare occasions I listen to the radio I’m amazed at how much of the music is cookie cutter, unimaginative and just all around bad. It all sounds alike and all the lyrics are the same. So, why is it like this, well because that is what people want? There was a poll that was done concerning music by diacenter.org . The data was complied and two songs were created based on the polls, one that combined the elements most desired in the polls and one that combined the elements least desired. The “most desired” sounded like everything I hear on the radio. I hated every note of it, in contrast I loved the one that combined the least desired elements.

So, I like different stuff I guess. Below is a clip from a band called “The Wrong Trousers”. While the song is a regular top 40 hit, the performance is not. This was shot on the street where these kids had setup shop. They have moved on and now have a recording contract. I think they are great!



Tuesday, January 20, 2009

My 1st Pot

Most of my interest in my adult lift can be traced back to events from my childhood. What leaves an impression that last and what passes away simply forgotten is as much serendipity as it is planning.

As a child I presented somewhat of a conundrum to my parents. My Mom, Dad and Brother were all athletic and interested in sports. I was not. My parents both coached sports – I considered attendance to a game something akin to punishment. I have checked I wasn’t adopted.

I think presents for me were hard for my family. I didn’t want balls or sports equipment or just about anything they would find interest in. However, I did like to make things. I didn’t really care what. Give me some scissors, tape, glue and an old newspaper and I would busy myself for hours. I became a pro with tape and glue which in my childhood I used to put back together much of the house that my brother and I destroyed– but that is another story.

The Christmas I was in the 2nd grade my parents gave me a pottery wheel. It was a child’s pottery wheel that was battery powered and to be honest it wasn’t worth crap. It looked functional but it was woefully underpowered. It must have been some company’s idea of a joke as the box was adored with pottery that no one could have ever produced on the crap wheel. However, I didn’t know that at the time.



So, on Christmas morning I began my work at the wheel. I carefully read the instructions and tried to mimic the hand positions that they gave. I setup shop in the garage, covered the work area in newspaper (see how multipurpose this stuff is) got a small bucket of water and I began to make blobs. Shapeless squashed blobs that couldn’t really take shape as the small motor would grind to a halt once I put any pressure on the clay. So, I had to mostly shape the poor blobs with my hands. There was no way to fire the clay – so I put my pitiful creations out in the sun. I then hand painted my creations with the small containers of paint that came with the wheel. They were hideous. In the end I had three “bowls”. One I gave to my parents – heck it could be an ashtray if it was pushed into service. I never saw it again after the giving. I like to believe they had a quiet funeral service for it. One I kept – I guess as a reminder to never use that stupid pottery wheel again – and the best one I gave to my first girlfriend – Laura Bradley. Laura smashed my gift into the sidewalk and laughed at it. I remember where Laura used to live, I guess I could always go ask her parents if she still regrets her rejection of my early art.

Monday, January 19, 2009

The snow is coming; the snow is coming...

The snow is coming; the snow is coming…well maybe. Here in piedmont section of NC nothing crushes the hopes of a good snow better than the prediction of snow. So, to counteract this I’ve scoured the Internet to find the most highly approved snow producing rituals.

  • Put pajamas on inside out
  • Put a spoon under your pillow
  • Flush an ice cube down the toilet
Everyone knows now what must be done. I will not accept any excuses! We need a snow day!

We can still eat that

I have a friend who has prefaced meals with “I think we can still eat that”. The uncertainty she has projected more than once in a meal of leftovers have left me with a healthy fear.  Healthy in that I’ve tried to err on the side of – let’s move to a food selection that you have more confidence in – like something not from the refrigerator vault. I’m not one of these people who won't eat leftovers – I don’t understand that either. But, I won’t eat a leftover if it requires carbon 14 dating to determine if it is still safe. My god, we don’t live in a 3rd world country we can find fresh food. Sure there is the odd salmonella outbreak – but it shouldn’t be cultivated in your own refrigerator. Leave that stuff to the experts!

You see, I really love food. I’m not missing a meal if I can help it - breakfast being the one exception as I may love sleep more than food. I know there are some people who just eat because they must to live – I feel so sorry for them. It is something they really should seek counseling for. If I cared enough I would search youtube for some Oprah show that I bet covers the topic, but really I just care enough to say I care.

When I eat I want to eat good food.  I’m not just eating to live – I want some love from that food baby! I have to watch my caloric intake – I know that – so if I’m eating something it should be worth the time it is going to take in the gym to burn it off. 

So yeah, I'm a food lover. I like to believe that if I make it to an afterlife it will have some great food, otherwise they aren't going to be happy with me there!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Do you Want the Banana?

The official German techno that tells the tale of a young man and his hands.












I love this kid! And yes....the video is a joke...but very well done. We are the monkies....

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Bandit Wanted


Our wants as children are often hard to explain. I always wanted a raccoon. I can’t say exactly why the idea appealed to me so. Maybe it was a Disney movie that had a raccoon in it. Whatever it was that married me to this idea I stuck to it for years. Even my brother, Steven, helped push this raccoon idea – one of our rarely united fronts. However my parents weren’t buying the idea. That isn’t true mostly Mom wasn’t buying the idea. Mom feared the raccoon would destroy the house, or give me rabies or something mothers would worry about. I believe Dad secretly wanted me to win this battle. However, Mom was pretty firm that raccoons weren’t pets. This is from a woman who had a pet alligator in Cherryville NC. As a child I wasn’t aware of this fact.

As an eight year old I did my best to convince Mom this would work. I bought a book on how to raise a raccoon trying to convince my parents that I was an expert on the subject. I could point to my book with pride and show them the whole idea had been carefully researched. However some book by a hippie on how to raise raccoons to be like a member of the family wasn't enough to win Mom over. I’m not sure where I got the book. This was pre-amazon.com days and it wasn’t like Gastonia was abound with bookstores.

To try to appease me my parents got me a rabbit and the rabbit was great. I would bring whole classes from school home to see my rabbit. We lived right across the street from the school so it was an easy spur of the moment field trip. I don’t think any permission slips were signed – school was less formal in those days. I would point to pride at my rabbit. I would take her out of her run and let people hold her.

She gave me good bragging rights, but she wasn’t the same as a raccoon. We couldn’t have any adventures, or climb trees together, or get into mischief. But she never destroyed the house or infected anyone with rabies. So, I guess that was an alright trade off.
The book is still at Mom’s house in case I take up the notion again.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Code Brown Terror Alert!



CLEARWATER, Fla. (AP) -
 Wildlife officials said a rhesus monkey known to throw feces when mad is on the loose in Tampa Bay. Authorities have been trying to capture the primate since Tuesday afternoon, but it managed to evade a bucket truck and tranquilizer dart.

Gary Morse with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission says the adult male is thought to have escaped from an unlicensed source. It was last seen in Clearwater.

The monkey is not considered dangerous unless provoked, at which point the shit will fly!

The monkey was not available for comment on this story.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Ralph - The Epic Story .... coming soon

Look into those eyes, really - are words needed? The story of Ralph - Part 1 - coming soon!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Stop before you mess it up

Life can sometimes be a chain of reactions of bad events and the simplest of items can be the causes nexuses. But sometimes we are lucky for everything to workout.


Spin

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Strangers in the Night

Generally as a rule when I travel I like to be left alone unless I’m with someone, then they don’t have to leave me alone. But strangers really should leave me alone because I guess I really don’t like people. It is not so much a dislike as I have nothing major against my fellow humankind, I just don’t like being bothered. If you need something fine, I’m willing to help but if you just want to be entertained go get a book like I do and read it. Why do you think they put bookstores in airports and reading lights on planes? Whole industries have sprung up for handheld entertainment. There is a reason for that!

Recently while waiting for a plane a stranger turned me to and said “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that makes the wait go quicker if you strike up a conversation with someone.” I was reading at the time and trying to communicate with body language to say “leave me alone!”. This woman however must be illiterate in body language as she continued to stare at me all doe-eyed. I closed my book very slowly, turned to the woman and said “"What would you like to talk about?"

Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "What do you think about that Barack Obama? I wonder if he is really qualified for the job.”

"OK", I said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass -. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The stranger woman looked visibly surprised by my question and I was hoping things would end there, but they didn’t. After a pause she said, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which I replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss President Barack Obama when you don't know shit?"

That ended the conversation and I could go back to reading. Feel free to use it anytime on any topic.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Parking Space

We keep talking about this clip at lunch, so I had to post it. It kills me each and everytime!

You know I am almost 100% certain that I've seen this woman at the Walmart. I have a good friend who about got us cut at a Walmart on the wrong side of town while looking at Christmas decorations.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

When Crazy people happen to Good Dogs

Ok, I'm lucky, I admit that. We have Ralph for a dog, and Ralph is perfect.  No really, he is perfect, except when he is bad, and then he isn’t perfect but in Ralph’s advanced years we try not to focus on that. Unless is it really bad, then we focus on it until he acts pitiful and we are back to morning his youth.  

I like to believe that Ralph is thankful he hasn’t been died pink and made to live in a pink room, where I would wear pink and just be generally crazy. Who knows what impact that would have on Ralph’s perfect behavior? Not sure what that could possibly be like – see if this helps?


You have to wonder, does someone like this just wake up one day and decided - hey I'm crazy, why not inflict that upon a poor animal? Sure, she has skills. I wouldn’t know how to die a dog’s hair pink.  Ralph really doesn’t like a bath, I’m sure hair styling would be out the question for him. Where would you get pink hair-dye? Is there a nice and easy color I'm unaware of? 

I have a dear friend who wants to paint their dog’s nails pink – I hope you are reading this and understand that that is just a gateway to a full fledged pink dog. Remember as Nancy taught us to say “just say No!”

Saturday, January 10, 2009

There is only one thing in the way.....

Hardships, challenges and problems are necessary learning experiences that have shaped me in my life journey. I must learn that lesson. I often focus so much on something ahead or something I left behind that I don't see what is here. But I can't help but wonder Is this really it? Maybe my life has unfolded exactly as it should have. Like a great symphony, with every note in my life’s song perfectly placed.

Maybe I am my own worst enemy. Always doubting. Always apprehensive. Always me. Maybe a beautiful life is already in front of me. Maybe that which I seek is already here. Just maybe.

If I squint a little can I see it?

Friday, January 9, 2009

Status Reports

My life at work these days consists of a long series of status reports. I actually don’t have time to get much work done as I have to report on the status of the work I’m supposed to be doing but can’t get done because I’m writing another status report.   

I wouldn’t mind creating these status reports if anything ever became of them. However, they are always stripped away to the simplest detail as one status report after another is combined by each level of management to create a summary report. In the end all that remains from my reports are the simplest of phrases “completed”, “delayed” or “deferred”.  All issues that I’m trying to convey are lost.

What is really needed is a report that says “we need to start worrying”, or “nothing to worry about here”. In the end that is all someone wants to know, is there something to worry about or not. But for the sake of job security you can’t have things that simple, you must look as if you’ve drawn conclusions based on the numerous status reports.

At some point I’m sure I will have to do a status report about my status report, at that point the sheer recursion of the situation will create a hole in the space-time continuum which will result in the destruction of the universe, at which point I will need to submit a status report on the destruction of the universe along with a triage of how it occurred. 

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Queen of all she Surveys!


Don't you know her family has to be proud of her? If you ever need a quick laugh be sure and check out http://failblog.org. The failblog rules!

There are a few pictures of me I know floating around out there that could be failed blog material, but I try my best to keep them under lock and key. I’m glad others don’t have such strong security measures in place!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Starting the New Year off with a Bang

Before you ask, this is a true story, even I couldn't think up this.


JACKSON, Ohio – Police say a 4-year-old boy in southern Ohio shot his babysitter because the sitter accidentally stepped on his foot. Police said 18-year-old Nathan Beavers and several other teenagers were babysitting several young children in a mobile home in Jackson on Sunday when the shooting occurred.

Witnesses told police the 4-year-old retrieved the shotgun from a bedroom closet and shot Beavers. Police said the child was angry because Beavers accidentally stepped on his foot.


Beavers was hospitalized with minor pellet wounds to his arm and side.

Police say another teen was also injured with shotgun pellets.


Jackson County Sheriff John Shashteen said authorities are investigating the shooting. The child has not been charged.






I remember as a child we went through baby-sitters on a somewhat regular bases. To be honest I don’t remember most of their names, however Mom still does. She likes to recount people who babysat us and ask me about them. I remember outstanding details like – that was the one who made me a good sandwich - after that it gets fuzzy.

I’m not sure why they couldn’t hang with multiple outings with the Day children. It could have been our parents were both teachers so pay would be on the low side. That seems kind of fair as they were trained professionals who weren’t paid much to baby-sit. It would seem ludicrous for them to pay a teenager more per hour than they made themselves! Maybe they didn’t know how to handle Steven and me trying to kill each other. We were never successful in our efforts, but it wasn’t from lack of trying. I know we looked like angels, but it really was the lighting in those old pictures.

I will admit when I was a younger child I was rather clingy. I have an excuse - I was very small for my age and I think I had a fear of being stomped on. The constant beatings from my brother did little to elevate this fear. I do take credit for this driving one babysitter away, you can still see the notch I made in my nightstand, away, but I don’t remember that being an issue with anyone else.

Now I realize those babysitters were damn lucky to have us, as we never popped a cap in any of them!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Best Moment Ever – Billy the Bass


What has been the highlight of George Bush's presidency from the president’s own perspective? Tough question, huh? There have been so many wonderful accomplishments: His liberation of Afghanistan? His acceleration of renewable energy research? His sterling efforts to stop masses of low-life Mexicans sneaking into the US? His implementation of plans to rebuild Iraq? His development of strong financial polices? Give up?

The answer surprisingly is none of these. According to Bush himself, his finest achievement has been – catching a fish.

George W Bush was asked in an interview by a German newspaper to reveal his best moment since he took office in 2001. “I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5lb perch in my lake”. Can’t you just picture it? George W. standing in full fishing regalia on the bows of an aircraft carrier with a banner behind him that reads “Fishing Accomplished”. I bet that carrier barely fit into that lake. I wonder how long the army corps of engineers had to work on that solution. No wonder no one was keeping an eye on those levies in New Orleans, we had had orchestrate getting an aircraft carrier onto a lake in Texas!

In all fairness I have to say I do agree with President Bush, this may have been his best accomplishment in office. I look forward to him having more time to do what he does best – fish.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Death Run

This morning coming into work I was cut off by a car that was driving like a bat out of hell. It isn’t like I drive like a little old lady or anything this guy was making some serious time! I can understand the late to work mad driver. I’ve done that. But this car was flying at some insane speeds. It had a SC license plate, so I figured the concept of a paved road might be a shock to his system. However, at this point he must have been on NC soil for at least a few miles and he should be getting over the shock. It was a large older car, like a 1990’s Cadillac land yacht.  It was an ugly black and burgundy combination that I believe is only confined to pocketbooks now, not cars. Every time he hit the gas at a stop light I could see about 3 gallons of gas getting burned up as he threw all 8 cylinders of that monster into full combustion as he pushed the pedal down to the floor.  Maybe he was racing to a gas station. Close, but no cigar, he was racing towards McDonalds. WTF. What can McDonalds possibly have that is worth driving like a crazy fool? Aren’t there McDonalds in SC? He had plenty of time they would still be serving egg mc muffins. He squealed his tires making the turn into McDonalds parking lot still going about 30 miles per hour and slammed on his brakes to get into the drive thru line. He must have been having a major Big-Mac Attack! If anyone knows of anything that they have at the golden arches that is worth this insanity, please let me know what I’m missing!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

New Year’s Resolutions!

Well the New Year should start off with some kind of resolutions. Normally this would mean that I would start the year off with failure as I declare I’m going to loose 20 lbs, become 21 years old again and learn a new language all by summer.

This year I’m not going to set myself up for failure. This year’s resolution will require careful planning and commitment on my part. This year, things are going to be different. I can feel it. I know it!

Wake up Each Day
Just wake up, really nothing more needed. Getting out of bed would be a good advanced step here, but I’m going to consider that more optional than required.

Relax
Try to extend relaxing beyond sleeping hours, if this requires more sleep so be it. I will look into some pillows for the office.

Eat Right
My body is a temple and I should watch what I put into my temple. If this means finding a diet that includes hamburgers, then I’ll search the internet until I find it! I won’t give up!

Spend more time with Friends and Family
I may have to reclassify the T.V. as a family member for this to work, however this makes sense as I’ve known the T.V. my entire life. I’ve only known a lot of people for 20 or so years. I really should recognize seniority.

Be a nicer person
Okay, maybe sometimes I’m an a@%hole. But really it is because of the stupid people I encounter. I’ve got to learn to be more compassionate to stupid people. It really is something they can’t help. I mean they are stupid. It is a disability.

Read More
Actually I can already read “more”; I should have picked a harder word. Maybe next year I'll pick "magniloquence"

Get Organized
I am already organized; it is those stupid people who want things I can’t find who screw up my organization. I hate those stupid people!

Whew! That is a big list. I’m sure I’ll blow some of them, but I’m sure going to try to achieve them all unless those stupid people stop me!

Friday, January 2, 2009

Equality for Some

As a rule I would steer clear of any movie with an overt political message. However the film Milk espouses a lot of messages that I believe in, including equal rights for everyone and a belief in the transformative power of community organizing. I wasn’t prepared for how powerful the messages would be and for that very reason I believe this is a movie that has universal appeal. I applaud them for not making it some sugar coated film that tries to rewrite history. It shows people as the human we are - flawed, but true. That in itself was refreshing for a movie that also has a message.

The movie tells the story of Harvey Milk, a gay man who moves to San Francisco’s Castro district and who encounters bigotry due to his lifestyle. Motivated by a desire for social change and acceptance, Milk becomes the first openly gay man ever elected to public office (City Supervisor, 1978).

In my mind, the film’s messages of hope intermingled with the bittersweet knowledge that our culture has taken steps backwards since 1978 on recognizing equal rights for all people. Sitting there in the theater, with the film’s final tear-jerking shot, it was difficult to know how to feel. I left with hope as I do do hope that in my lifetime these injustices will seem as outdated as segregation does today.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year - A look back at 2008


2008 was yet another year. I would really like to get off on the right foot with 2009, so I am going to restrain from writing anything that would make me appear to be bitter, or negative as first impressions are very important. So, below is my non-negative look back at 2008. I hope 2009 understands what an effort this is for me!

2008 was comprised of the usual 12 month cycle consisting of 52 weeks. The days remained arranged in the manner we have become accustomed to with weeks starting on Sunday and ending on Saturday. The days were once again arranged in the reliable standard of 24 hours. At the beginning of the year we saw Winter, followed by Spring which lead into Summer without anyone really noticing; then our old friend Fall popped up. In the Fall we saw a lot of activity. People cast votes, those with the most votes were elected to office, new television shows came on, and the leaves changed colors. As soon as this was all over the holiday season began, we ate, we purchased and then the year was over.

Ok, you know what - Screw 2008. 2009, you gotta understand 2008 was just a bitch of a year, drought, war, screwed up economy, bitter elections, high gas prices, spiraling health care cost, devaluation of property, unemployment, global warming, polar ice caps melting, one industry after another going belly up. Really, the only nice thing I can say about 2008 is I had some fun with friends, I managed not to die and the damn thing is over. Let this be a warning to you 2009, if you try to be a bastard like 2008 I will make you pay. I’ve had enough. So there, that is how we start. Deal with it 2009 and keep in mind 2008 didn’t survive - I did!