Strangers in the Night

Generally as a rule when I travel I like to be left alone unless I’m with someone, then they don’t have to leave me alone. But strangers really should leave me alone because I guess I really don’t like people. It is not so much a dislike as I have nothing major against my fellow humankind, I just don’t like being bothered. If you need something fine, I’m willing to help but if you just want to be entertained go get a book like I do and read it. Why do you think they put bookstores in airports and reading lights on planes? Whole industries have sprung up for handheld entertainment. There is a reason for that!

Recently while waiting for a plane a stranger turned me to and said “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that makes the wait go quicker if you strike up a conversation with someone.” I was reading at the time and trying to communicate with body language to say “leave me alone!”. This woman however must be illiterate in body language as she continued to stare at me all doe-eyed. I closed my book very slowly, turned to the woman and said “"What would you like to talk about?"

Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "What do you think about that Barack Obama? I wonder if he is really qualified for the job.”

"OK", I said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass -. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The stranger woman looked visibly surprised by my question and I was hoping things would end there, but they didn’t. After a pause she said, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which I replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss President Barack Obama when you don't know shit?"

That ended the conversation and I could go back to reading. Feel free to use it anytime on any topic.