The New Holy Trinity – Ford, GM & Chrysler

At Greater Grace Temple, the largest church in Detroit, a service was held seeking God's help for the domestic auto industry. To invoke God’s grace three SUVs where drove onto the altar just in front of the choir and behind the pulpit. The church was apparently fresh out of lambs and bulls to sacrifice. The autos were donated by local car dealerships to be displayed during the service. I’m sure they got a nice plug somewhere along the way. Experts believe the SUV’s may have been a form of bribery being offered up or a simple reminder what an American car actually looks like.  It is apparent now; however, God didn’t want them as a bailout plan has not been passed.

To quote Rev. Charles Ellis during his SUV service – “We have never seen as midnight an hour as we face this week”. I’m not even sure what that means. Doesn’t midnight come everyday and 7 times a week?  Someone needs to help this man out with telling time. The Rev. Charles Ellis is one step away from sacrificing a Ford Fiesta. I’m watching his website for updates. Maybe this stunt helped put more money in the church coffers, but this kind of SUV offering is more sacrilegious than the best episodes of South Park.

While I have compassion for the individuals whose jobs are impacted by this screw-up, I find it hard to find any compassion for the automakers themselves. They have consistently turned out vehicles that not only do most Americans not want, but most of the world doesn’t want. I’m old enough to remember the oil crisis from the 1970’s : the shortages, the long lines, the rationing. It is as if not a single decision maker in the big three learned any lessons from this.

Maybe I am wrong, but I don’t think the demands for what people want is that hard to surmise. I believe we all want a reasonably priced, safe car that gets great mileage or better yet runs off a fuel source that can be generated in a number of ways - electricity. We don’t need to able to haul around a 12-horse trailer, a small house, or a mobile home. We don’t need seats that are actually converted loveseats. We don’t need an auxiliary fuel tank. We don’t need to be able to go from 0 to 10,000 mph in 10 seconds. We need reliable transportation.  The sad truth is we know this can be done. GM did it with their EV-1, before they killed it.

Given the sad shape of the economy as a whole, I believe that automobiles on the altar are just the tip of the iceberg. I soon expect to see banks and mortgage brokers splayed out on the altar.